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Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Book Review: 25 Ways to Communicate Respect for Your Husband

Publisher: Prescott, 2013
Genre: Non-fiction, Marriage

First Lines:

Respect. Honor. Admiration. Esteem.

These are things all of desire, but for men, the longing is particularly well ingrained. That is just the way they are wired.

Whether young or old, educated or uneducated, driven or laidback, single or married—a man craves respect. He wants to know that his friends, his family, and his coworkers trust his judgment, recognize his abilities, and value his opinions.

Nowhere is this truer than in marriage.

Goodreads Description:

We get out of marriage what we pour into it.

• Would you like for your husband to be more attentive?
• Do you long for him to notice and admire you?
• Wish he’d recognize and appreciate all your hard work?
• Want him to be respectful of your wishes and opinions?
• Would you like for him to spend more time with you?

Then treat him the way you want to be treated.

WARNING: Reading this book may alter the way you look at your husband, your marriage, and life in general. Read at your own risk. Side effects from implementing the principles set forth in these pages may include a more joyful outlook, better communication skills, a healthier relationship, a happier home, and a rekindled desire to love on your man.

My Review:

This is the companion book to Doug Flanders’ 25 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife, a volume I felt very well identified the things husbands can do to meet their wives’ need for love. Jennifer, Doug’s wife, sets out to return the favour with this volume, focusing on the men's greatest need—for respect. Happily married for more than 28 years, the two are well-qualified to offer advice to those who would seek to improve their married life.

That being said, many women will find at least some of the content of Respect difficult to swallow and apply. ‘Feed him his favorites,’ ‘Dress to please him,’ ‘Keep the house tidy,’ ‘Admire him,’ are not exactly well-regarded ideas, if you pay much attention to contemporary television shows and culture. This sounds far too much like ‘Leave it to Beaver’ and ‘Father Knows Best.’ We roll our eyes. Puh-lease!

But let’s not be too hasty and throw the baby out with the bathwater. To paraphrase John Lennon, all Flanders is saying is ‘give it a chance.’ Do you want a happier marriage? Are you prepared to do your part? Do you value it enough to try anything, even if at first it doesn’t come naturally? I mean, really, is it that hard to make the meals your husband enjoys (assuming he’s not the one doing the cooking)? Is it that difficult to dress in a way that catches his eye? Okay, maybe it’s not easy to keep the house clean—I get that—but is it impossible? Can you enlist the help of the other people who share the house with you? Hire someone to clean the house weekly or bi-weekly? And you must have admired your husband at one time. Is he no longer admirable? If not, what happened and what is within your ability to help restore his previous character? At the conclusion of each section, Flanders offers practical suggestions for implementing the book's principles.

Not always easy reading—you may be convicted—but worth pushing through. There are lots of great quotes peppered throughout as well. And you’ll be relieved to know that respect doesn’t mean
  • You’re inferior to him
  • You’re not as smart as he is
  • You are less capable than he is
  • You are a doormat
  • You’re his slave
  • You can’t think for yourself
  • You always agree with him
If you’re a married woman, go ahead and read this. You have nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain.

My Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars


  1. I'm no longer a married woman, but I have a lovely boyfriend. I feel quite certain he respects me, and I respect him. Sometimes I dress in clothes I know he likes. I told him he had to start dressing decently when we go out to dinner (he tended toward slobware). He has. I tell him how nice he looks. It's definitely a two-way street.


    1. Yes, it is a two-way street and when the man loves the woman, it's much easier for her to meet his need for respect. Sounds like your boyfriend is a keeper :)


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