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Saturday, 8 April 2017


When we think of giving, we often think of money or tangible things. While it can be okay to give monetarily or materially, it may not always be for the best. If you have a young adult who is challenged in his ability to steward his resources well, or who tends not to care for her belongings, you may be doing him or her a disservice in giving this way. Essentially, you are contributing to his/her dysfunction/irresponsibility and need to step back so that life can do what it does best: teach valuable and memorable lessons.

What are other ways we can give?

We can give our time, energy, attention, affirmation and affection.

Are you familiar with the 5 love languages? Put forward by author Gary Chapman in the mid-1980s, the "languages" are 

  • gift-giving
  • quality time (another word for focus)
  • words of affirmation (blessing/encouragement)
  • physical touch (aka affection)
  • acts of service (or as I put it, energy)
Mother-daughter stroll
You could take your young adult out for lunch and meaningful conversation or join with them to do an activity they enjoy (bowling, hiking, escape room, for example). 

You could ensure you're giving her lots of positive feedback. This can be verbal, on post-its placed where she can see them, on note cards that come in the mail, in e-mails, etc. The possibilities are endless and the main thing is to do it!

You could give him hugs if he'll still let you (if his love language is physical touch, chances are he will!) or just make a point of touching his arm, patting him on the back, fist-bumping, etc. Hey, whatever it takes!

You could do her laundry if you see she's swamped with assignments and studying for exams, offer to drive her to work on a rainy day, make his favourite meal for supper, do his taxes. The service and frequency are up to you. You don't want to usurp their responsibilities on a regular basis as a way of teaching them they're off the hook, but to do something like this occasionally - as an act of love and/or observation that they could use a hand at a particular moment in time - will be most appreciated and welcomed.

Speaking of acts of service, if anyone wants to come over and clean my house, you are more than welcome. Even if I'm not a young adult. As blessed as it is to give, it's a blessing to receive also.

The letter G is brought to you by the A to Z Blogging Challenge that takes place each April. Join us anytime you like! 


  1. these are great ways to keep have a happy family :) It's all about love and care.

  2. It always still amazes me how even a small act of kindness or giving can turn an attitude, a situation or a problem upside down.
    Perspectives at Life & Faith in Caneyhead

    1. True, Barbara. It often doesn't require a lot of effort or time to show someone you love and care for her.

  3. My kids love my attention more than gifts, which is surprising to me. My older daughter won't clean but every once in a while my younger will surprise us and clean. I love that.

    G is for Gardasil—Is It Safe?

    1. I love that, too, Tamara! Doesn't happen very often around here! Once you know your child's love language (what makes her feel loved), you understand why they prefer something like attention over gifts. And once you know that, you can put more energy into the one and less into the other!

  4. I am so bad at doing everything for them and not letting them learn the lessons for themselves!

    1. It's a temptation for many of us, I'm sure. But it's never too late to change! :)


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