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Thursday, 13 April 2017


We know our children fairly well when they are younger, but what about as they get older, develop friendships outside the home and have wider influences than just Mom, Dad and close family? 

Parents may still be important, but parental viewpoints are exposed to greater scrutiny as our children grow and receive input from others who may have widely divergent views and values from our own. Teachers, peers, friends' parents, the "culture" (television, social media, what the accepted norms are), etc. all impact our young people - their worldview, what they think, how they approach life. Without our realizing it, they can become people we no longer really know. 

Older children and teens can internalize things as they digest new information and test it against what they've been taught at home. They may feel that Mom and Dad won't respond well to challenges or questions. No matter how open you think you are, if you hold very strong opinions or have a tendency to overreact, their withholding may be unfortunate but legitimately self-protecting.

Knowing your child as s/he grows older requires keeping an open mind and an open door for communication. That means being willing to discuss alternate ideas, admit what you don't know (but are prepared to investigate) and encourage critical thinking. No one should accept someone else's assessment of truth without checking it out for her/himself. That's just going along for the ride.

We've talked about communication a little bit already (communicate, hear, inquire) and finding out who our young adults are requires plunging the depths. But there are some fairly basic things you should also 'know' about your child that are not too hard to find out:

  • who are his/her best friends?
  • what is his/her favourite colour?
  • what is his/her favourite meal?
  • who is his/her favourite musical artist?
  • what is his/her favourite book?
  • where is his/her favourite place in the world?
  • what is s/he passionate about?
If you don't know the answers to these elementary questions, they're a good place to begin.
The letter K is brought to you by the A to Z Blogging Challenge that takes place each April. Join us anytime you like! 


  1. Good advice. Everybody needs to decide what they believe and what interests them. Parents need to understand that kids are individuals and not just mini versions of themselves.

    Aj @ Read All The Things!

  2. This is good advice, especially the friends thing. By middle school, peers may have the strongest influence over a child than anything else. Fitting in becomes everything.

    K is for Kevlar—Gift From Aliens?

  3. You are right in that for beliefs to be our own, we have to test them, explore them, compare them. That means letting go at some point and hoping they choose rightly. If they do, then the values you wanted to instill in them will really be theirs.
    Perspectives at Life & Faith in Caneyhead

  4. It really becomes much harder when they are becoming influenced by the outside world. Lots of prayers help too!

    1. Very much so (to both points)! Praying hard over here!


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